Posts Tagged ‘Ideas

05
Feb
17

I *am* alive

But

The thing is-

I’m not

Dead,

Yet.

I’m still

Here,

For now.

Due,

In no small part

To sheer stubbornness

And fear

Of the other

Options.

I’m not

A survivor

Of strength,

Or determination,

As much as

I am a survivor

Of paralysis-

Too scared

To move,

Too afraid

To do anything,

Too committed to the starry-eyed Piscean ideals of love and desire and wanting to have things be the way they ought to be because it is the right way.

I don’t

Keep breathing

Because

I am

Conquering fear,

But because

I am

Unwilling

To be

More bold.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

February 5, 2017

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16
Oct
16

Seven letters

I used to believe that

Love lasted forever,

And I suppose

A part of me still does,

Possibly,

But I’ve realized that

Forever is a lot bigger

Than its seven letters.

Who can truly understand

The meaning

Of infinity

Of time?

Unlike the billions of Sagan’s stars,

Which are theoretically finite,

Love is somehow

Transcendant

And limitless,

Exceeding both time and space,

While our physical bodies

Are not.

I ache to believe

That

Love will last

Into an eternity

I can not fathom,

And will never feel,

But the practicality of heartbreak

Produces a cold and unfeeling reality

That suggests

Love is far less permanent than the dreams of an expanding universe that flows into a darkness that is unfettered by boundaries of physics or romance.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

October 16, 2016

15
Oct
16

Confessions

There are things

That

I will have

To carry

To my grave,

Unable to

Speak them,

And make

The confession

Of what I did,

What I feel,

What I want,

Or who I am.

There are things

I can

Never

Give words to,

Because

Their simple existence

Within

My mind

And memory

Are

Too much

For me

To live with.

The truth

Is

Supposed to set us

Free,

But mine

Hangs

From my neck,

Like a heavy chain

Attached to an anchor

Falling deeper

Into the abyss,

Where water goes

From sparkling blue

To darkest black.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

October 15, 2016

28
Jan
16

Borrowed Time

We are all

On borrowed time-

Each breath

Is a gift

And a theft

From somebody

Else.

You

Exhale

As I

Inhale-

It’s a shared breath

Until

One of us stops.

All we have

Is

Fleeting

And shared,

Or borrowed,

Or stolen-

As in Physics,

Matter is

Neither

Created

Nor destroyed.

We are

Neither

Created nor destroyed,

We are

Shared atoms

In a swirling cosmos

Of light

And dust,

And love,

And heartbreak.

We are neither

Created

Nor destroyed,

We are one

Made of many

Pieces-

Fitting imperfectly,

With many jagged edges,

Smoothed

By the tumbling

Of time and emotion.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

January 28, 2016

28
Oct
14

Balancing the tastes

I’ll have

Your coffee

Waiting

For you,

When you wake-

As you slowly stir

From the dreams

We’ve made

Together.

It’s a process

To get it right,

Finding the balance

Of grind,

Level scoop or rounded scoop,

Proper amount

Of water,

Brew time,

Cream or no cream,

Sugar or no sugar,

Balancing the tastes

Of bitter

And sweet.

Each cup

An exercise

In intimacy

That moves past

The bedroom,

Yet compliments the passion

Nicely.

It won’t happen

With the first

Cup,

But I’m patient

And I want

To make love to you

With each

Fresh brewed cup

Of aromatic romance.

I want to see

Your eyes slowly

Open,

As the smell

Enters your nose,

And the hair

In your face

Gets brushed away

From your lips

For the first sip,

While I wait

To see

The look

On your face-

Your upper lip inching past the edge of the rim of the cup to taste what I have crafted just for you.

I’ll take notes

And learn

What makes you happy,

What pleases you,

How strong

You want it.

And once

I’ve gotten it right,

I’ll create variations

On the theme

To try new things,

And keep the excitement

Of discovery

Alive.

Maybe this time

Something from Ethiopia,

Or possibly Central America,

Or just a darker roast

From a similar region?

I will never tire

Of wanting

To make you happy

With each sip

And warm embrace,

Touching your perfect lips.

 

I will have your coffee

Waiting

For you

Each morning,

To gently bring you

To proper momentum

For each day,

Because

I love you

And take pride in my work-

Satisfying you

And your needs.

 

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

October 28, 2014

28
Jul
14

Erosion

I’m going

To bury

Them

In a field

In my mind-

Some fertile

Corner

With plenty

Of light,

Good drainage,

And nutrient-rich soil.

Let the ideas

And feelings,

Memories,

Grow

And take

Root,

Holding the soil

Of my mind

In place,

Secure

From erosion.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

July 28, 2014

27
Apr
14

All I want

In the end

All I want

Is what I want-

Her,

Sleep,

Peace,

Quiet

In my mind,

Less

Restlessness,

The smell of her deep in my lungs, and the feel of her in my arms and beneath my fingertips, shivering and trembling, asking me to hold her tighter.

I don’t

Want

Much,

Just what I want

And ache for.

The silence

Of mind

And body

To deafen the voices

Of doubt

And fear

Long enough

To allow sleep

A chance to embrace

Me

And make me feel

Wanted

Once again.

I really don’t want

Much…

Just what I want.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

April 27, 2014




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