Archive for April, 2014

29
Apr
14

I know

I know

The blessings are there-

I wake up

To them each morning.

I know

Things can always be

Worse,

That

The bottom

Is still below me.

I see

Plenty examples

Of how

Bad it could be,

And how good

Things are

When held to that mirror of comparison.

But

It’s amazing

How little

That knowledge can do

To fight off

The feelings

Of despair,

And frustration,

As well as the aching and longing for something better than “this” and “now”.

The toxic

Self-pity and loathing

Consume

The good,

The blessings,

The joy,

When the darkness wins

The fistfight

With the light.

I know

I shouldn’t

Feel

This way,

But I’ll be damned if I don’t still feel like wallowing.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

April 29, 2014

28
Apr
14

Just breathe

Just breathe-

Inhale,

Exhale,

Move oxygen

From the lungs,

Into the bloodstream,

Fueling the muscles

And brain.

Breathe,

Relax,

Rest,

Perhaps sleep,

If you’re lucky.

Just breathe

And forget them,

Even if

Only for a moment-

Forget them

And breathe.

They will still be there

Tomorrow,

So

Forget

About them

For tonight,

And listen

To the sound of air rushing into your lungs and slowly exiting between your lips and into the darkness you wish to leave behind.

Just

Breathe.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

April 28, 2014

28
Apr
14

With her

With her lips

Pressed against mine,

And

My hands

In her hair,

Holding her neck,

To pull her

Closer to me,

I can

Almost

Feel

Her heart

Beating

Against my chest

And

My own rapid

Emotions.

As the sunlight

Hits her eyes

And

She turns

Closer to me,

To avoid the light,

I can

See

The gold

Around the iris

Of her eyes-

Dancing

And

Sparkling

Like a candle

Surrounded

By the darkness

Of night,

Providing

The only light

I need,

The only light

I want.

Between kisses,

She bites

Her bottom lip

And

Blushes sweetly,

Catching her breath

And

Bracing herself

For more-

Because

There will always be more.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

April 28, 2014

27
Apr
14

All I want

In the end

All I want

Is what I want-

Her,

Sleep,

Peace,

Quiet

In my mind,

Less

Restlessness,

The smell of her deep in my lungs, and the feel of her in my arms and beneath my fingertips, shivering and trembling, asking me to hold her tighter.

I don’t

Want

Much,

Just what I want

And ache for.

The silence

Of mind

And body

To deafen the voices

Of doubt

And fear

Long enough

To allow sleep

A chance to embrace

Me

And make me feel

Wanted

Once again.

I really don’t want

Much…

Just what I want.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

April 27, 2014

16
Apr
14

Quiet please

Enough with the noise,

The chanting,

Screaming,

Attempts at whispering,

Mumbling beneath

My breath,

Muttering

Again and again and again…

Just shut up.

And now.

Quiet please,

Just

Quiet-

All of you

Voices

In my head.

I want

To sleep,

Or concentrate,

Or focus

On anything

Other than you

For just a while-

Is that really

Too much

To ask?

The anxiety

Is enough

Already,

So just shut up

And give me

A little

Quiet please.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

April 16, 2014

08
Apr
14

Cage free

I know

You

Were never mine,

Not mine

To hold

Or keep.

I know

That

You

Are only yours,

Free-

Not caged,

Not confined,

Sunlight on your face,

Smile spread

Like an endless horizon.

But

Nobody

Owns anybody,

Ever,

So why

Are we here…

In this particular moment?

Why here?

Why now?

Just kiss me

Again

And whisper

With shivering voice

In my ear

That you

Still

Love me.

Let me

Hold you

And feel

Your body

Melt into mine

As we both lose ourselves in each other and forget the entire world spinning so much slower than we are spinning.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

April 8, 2014

07
Apr
14

Crack and hiss

The song is over,

The needle skips,

The crack

And hiss

Are all

That remain.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

April 7, 2014




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