26
Jun
13

I want to believe

It isn’t that

You don’t care,

I don’t doubt that

You do,

But you don’t want to

Know

The truth

Of what I’m going through.

Just like me,

You want

To believe

Whatever fairytale

You have to

Tell yourself

To get through each day.

I alternate

Between needing

To believe

That you are unhappy and miss me,

And needing you

To be happily in somebody else’s arms

And bed-

Just so that I will let it die

Once and for all.

I don’t doubt you care,

But you don’t

Want to see these tears

And fully understand

My struggle.

It would make you sad

And we’ve talked so many times

About how you don’t want to be sad,

So the sadness

Is all mine.

I want to believe

That I want you

To be

Happier than me,

But I’m not

Sure that I can

Let go long enough

To let that happen.

I haven’t yet anyway,

Even though I’ve tried.

I really have tried .

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

June 26, 2013

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