Archive for February, 2013

20
Feb
13

You

You’ll read

This

One day,

And know

It’s about you.

I know you

Will-

I know you

Look-

But will you

Say anything?

Will you

Care-

Do you care

Anymore?

Did I become

The only one

To care

Long ago?

Did the hurt

Become mine

Alone?

Am I already

The sole proprietor

Of this

Heartache?

Will these words matter

When

You finally find them?

You will find them,

I know you will,

And I will try

To forget

Them-

Even if I can’t

Forget

You.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

February 19, 2013

19
Feb
13

Empty

Each day

That goes by

Without

Hearing from you

Again,

Brings me

Closer

To accepting that

I won’t.

 

Empty

Inbox,

No

New texts,

No

Missed calls-

You didn’t

Say hello

Today

And Won’t

Tomorrow.

 

It really is

Over,

And that’s the truth

That I choke on

While trying to

Swallow it.

Obsessed

With the emptiness

That consumes me,

And the memories

I’m not allowed

To have.

 

I’ve never liked

Goodbyes

Either,

And even less

Now.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

February 19, 2013

16
Feb
13

Java

There are times

When I miss

A past

That I can not have

Ever

Again.

Memories,

Like smoke rings,

Evaporate,

Yet linger-

Hanging slightly

In the air,

Faintly.

I don’t

Want

Them

Again,

But the time

And the ink stains

On my fingers,

And the words

Pouring out

Without

A wall

Or a filter.

Sitting

For days,

In smoked filled cafes,

With a fervent

Need

To scratch out

Words

To poorly capture

The moment

And the emotions

Of ideas

So much

Bigger

Than me

Or the moment-

Equally

As much

Fiction

As reality.

They

Can stay

In the past,

Them,

But give me

Those words

And smudged pages

Filled with words

And red wine

Or coffee stains.

Let them

Walk back

To their boyfriends

And husbands,

But give me back

Those pages

And passion,

Filled with the sounds

Of rushed

Scratches

Of a nib across a page,

And the clattering

Of coffee cups

In the background.

They can stay in the shadows,

Mocking me

And my desires,

I don’t want

Them

Anymore,

All I want

Is the moment

When they

Inspired me,

Gave me passion,

Made me feel

Alive

In my insecurities,

As I hunted

Endlessly

For the meaning

Of questions

I hadn’t thought

To ask.

Their shapes

And forms,

Even their names,

Barely linger anymore,

But the memory and feeling

Of that time

Is still so clear,

And hurts much more

Than anything

They

Ever said

On their way out

Of my life.

I can clearly remember the hiss and scream of the espresso machine in the background, Miles Davis playing in the cafe, the cigarette in my left hand, and the pen in my right hand- rushing hurriedly across the page, trying so hard to keep up with my mind.

They’re gone,

But the memories of the words

Remain and haunt me

Much more.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

February 16, 2013

16
Feb
13

Just say yes

Just say yes-

Let go of no,

It doesn’t

Do

Either of us

Any good.

Just let me

Love you,

And hold you

In my arms

And my heart.

Just stop

Building

That wall

And let me

In.

Just

Let me-

Please,

Just let me.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

February 16, 2013

16
Feb
13

Naked

“Naked

Is

A state of mind”

Where the inhibition

Has left

The voices

Saying “no”

Behind.

Naked

And stripped bare

Of fear

And remorse-

Left only

With courage

In the moment,

All senses

Alive

And tingling,

Electrified

By the removal

Of fear.

Emotions

Exposed

To the world-

Chattering in the cold,

Blistering in the sun,

Chafed by the wind…

But free

To feel

And to hurt

Or rejoice.

Bare

And raw.

 

Timothy Vance Jackson

February 16, 2013

 




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