11
Apr
09

Untitled 2- 4/10/09

My feelings and thoughts

Are

Complicated

By clouds

Of doubt

And fear

And worry.

It’s often like this

When my daughter is gone

To be with her mother,

And I am alone

To sit in the dark

And listen to music

In an attempt to drown out the voices that question each move and decision

Of my life.

The questions

About why

My life

Has been marked

By two divorces

Before the age of forty,

Why

I feel that I can

Take the risk

To love again,

Or why I’ve never

Found that elusive “grown up” phase of my life.

When her voice

Is gone

From my home

And I sit

Here

Alone,

I become

Like the stereotypical

Family dog-

Chewing on its tail

Until it bleeds

And the plastic cone

Is pulled out from the hall closet

And snapped into place

Around my neck

To keep me

From eating myself

Alive.

Timothy Vance Jackson

April 10, 2009

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